Escaping a nightmare to get back on the motorbike

When I was 22, I got married to a man whom I loved from the beginning but whom I no longer recognized over time.
Perhaps one of the things I liked most about him was that he was a motorcyclist. He would pick me up on his motorcycle and I felt one with him when we rode around. Then the urge to ride came to me too, and I bought myself an offroad bike, used, agile though tall. It was love at first sight.
We would ride together, each with his own bike, even though I was slow and clumsy, even though he would tease me in front of his friends. Always with that urge to belittle me, to make me feel like a burden.

The nightmare

About 2 years later I got pregnant. We didn’t expect it, we weren’t looking for a child, but we were happy to fulfill our respective parents’ dream. Then everything started to fall apart.
Immediately he wanted to sell my motorcycle. I asked to wait a while since I loved my independence like crazy, we didn’t need the money, and I felt wonderfully good riding. Maybe I would think about it later, I told him.
One night, after another heated argument, he pushed me into the wall and I hit my head somewhere, I don’t really remember what happened. The neighbors heard and called the police. I was hospitalized. I had an abortion. I went back home. The insults and beatings started.
Sometimes I couldn’t find my bike keys, he would hide them. Then I would take the spare ones and go for a regenerative ride trying to figure out what to do and how to get out of it.

When I got home here were more insults, like I wasn’t even able to give him a child, that I was always away from home and things like that. Then he would pretend to hit me and laugh. One day I went to get the bike from the garage and found it all disassembled. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I asked for help and got lucky. I changed residence 600 km from where I was staying, to a house with wonderful women who are teaching me so much. I deleted social profiles, changed emails, phone numbers.

From all of this I have learned a lot. First, I would like to tell you that even if you love your partner, do not compromise. Do not annihilate yourself and do not be annihilated but be strong. What you need is to have economic independence. Try to have your own friends, your own passions, your own space. If that person loves you, then the exchange will be equal, otherwise run away before it is too late. If you look in the mirror and no longer recognize yourself, then it is time to pack your bags. Don’t wait, don’t think things will change. Respect is the basis of every relationship.
I have many plans in my head, the first is to put aside some money to take the bike back and come to one of your events, I have seen beautiful smiles and so much serenity.
I am making it fortunately, I still have dreams and will to live, many others do not.

B.

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