10 THINGS I’VE LEARNT SINCE I’VE BEEN A MOTORCYCLIST

“BECOMING A MOTORCYCLIST CHANGED MY LIFE!” HOW MANY OF US WOMEN HAVE SAID OR THOUGHT SUCH A THING? I THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT IT (OBVIOUSLY WITH MY HELMET ON) AND I FOUND MY 10 THINGS. THEY ARE THE ONES THAT I HAVE LEARNT AND THAT I HAVE NOTICED OVER THE YEARS, THOSE THAT HAVE CHANGED ME AND THAT HAVE NEVER MADE ME REGRET MY CHOICE TO GET ON A MOTORCYCLE.

1. INDEPENDENCE

“Loneliness is independence” Herman Hesse

Many take it for granted, but independence can be gained every day even in the small things. I’ve never liked depending on someone or something, but I’ve noticed that it often becomes such an internalized behavior that we don’t even notice it. “I would like to go out on a motorcycle but no one comes with me, so I’ll stay at home” or “How much I’d like to learn how to do those hairpin bends, but not alone” and again “My partner doesn’t want to share that journey with me, so I’m not meant to do it.” These are all excuses we tell ourselves for not facing our fears (remember that fear is a defense mechanism of our brain that in these cases tells us: “What if something happens to you and you’re alone? Stay at home and everything will be fine!” And that sofa is precisely the very famous “comfort zone”. How many things have we missed out on because of ‘fear’?(Perhaps the most appropriate term is “overthinking”) Being a motorcyclist has made me understand what independence is, deciding to just go, to let go, to return, to think about the journey and not about the destination, to stop whenever I want, to savour every moment without having to surrender to the needs of others. Independence is directly linked to loneliness, not the boring and tragic one that many women have when they are not comfortable with themselves, but that fullness of being, of being sufficient, of knowing how to be in the world and of being able to enjoy it in our own way.

2. BALANCE   

“To keep balance, you have to move.” 

It might be my Tai Chi years and the teachings of my masters, but my bike too has made me understand what balance is. I’m not just talking about emotional/mental balance that is essential for riding, but also about physical balance. With the easel removed, we are the ones who become one with this extraordinary vehicle. When we ride, our lives are entrusted to a surface area little larger than a credit card: it is the part of the tire that keeps us anchored to the road. Crazy, isn’t it? If you have taken a road driving course, you certainly know how fundamental the weight of the body is when riding a motorbike, that “pressing on the cranks” to move the bike, that beautiful feeling in the corners when the bike goes just where you want it to. To do this, you shouldn’t be rigid, you need to be fluid like water, without being weak, without letting yourself be carried away because otherwise you’re going to be in trouble.

You may have also noticed how important mental balance is for riding. Riding a motorcycle when you are angry, mad, worried and too excited will have an impact on the way you drive. We could be too impetuous, most likely inattentive to what surrounds us and therefore vulnerable and in danger. Going out for a ride reassures us, makes us happier, makes us feel good, this is true, but I think the motorcycle is also a great amplifier of our emotions. We drive as we are and we drive as we feel.

3. ATTENTION

“The most precious gift we can give someone is our attention” Thich Nhat Hanh

Attention does not only mean listening to others, but also the attention we pay while we are driving. Having said that, another positive aspect of riding a motorcycle is that I can now drive better when I am in a car or another vehicle. Feeling invisible for a motorcyclist is a sad but real thing. I am convinced that if all motorists drove a motorcycle they would be much less inattentive, they would not use a smartphone, they would move to the right when a motorcycle arrived, they would facilitate overtaking in the mountains. All things that seem normal to us, right? But how many times have we faced potentially dangerous people while we were on the bike?

4. SHARING

“Happiness is real only when it is shared.” Christopher McCandless

It is a word that I often use and that has a history closely linked to me and to MissBiker. Without my motorcycle, I would not have created the community that now keeps together thousands of women with the same passion. It is the desire to share that made me take the first step. But sharing what? Over the years I have discovered that motorcycles are a world full of facets. In a group we discuss everything, we open up, we ask for advice, even trivial at times, we look for confirmation, opinions, pats on the back, injections of confidence and inspiration. We tell each other stories, we teach, we get excited at times and we become a single reality made of multitudes. It is always the differences that enrich us. I realised it precisely with the community and thanks to the women who write and share their life as a motorcyclist every day “putting their faces on it.” But the sharing that I have learnt is not only virtual. This is proved by the 5 great motorcycle gatherings and the other events that we have held over the years and that have brought together many women motorcyclists.

I also admit that I have never loved travelling in groups on motorcycles. I love taking my time, accelerating and decelerating at will, stopping to observe and take a pic, relax. Sometimes you may find that person who has your rhythm and tune, the one who understands you and dramatically increases the fun of a trip. Then sharing becomes divine, it’s like touching the sky with a finger. It happened to me when I found myself in front of a group of hundreds of women motorcyclists at one of our motorcycles gatherings and the emotion made my heart flutter and tears of joy fell. Or with a small group of real friends, when I stopped at the traffic light I saw their eyes full of pride, enthusiasm, peace and satisfaction. The bike can do this too!

5. EMPATHY

“It’s not so much the journey that’s important; it’s how we treat those we meet and those around us, along the way.”Jeremy Aldana

Empathy is the ability to “feel” what the other person is feeling. It sounds simple but it’s not. We are increasingly led to a sort of selfishness that only deteriorates us. I have understood very well what empathy is, again thanks to motorcycles. In the community, as I said, we talk about everything, but the contents that often stand out are those of women who feel defeated or discouraged by a fall, an injury or a driving test failure.  In these cases I simply put myself in their shoes. They are opening up to a group showing their weakness and I think it is right to give them strength through positive comments and encouragement. When we learn to do something and it becomes simple, almost trivial, we take it for granted that it is the same for everyone. That is not the case. “Never forget where you started from.” Most of us fell but got back up. There are those who have done it alone, showing strength of mind and stubbornness, but there are also those who see the fall as a “failure” of their ego. As if it should prove right to those who doubted about their dreams. They are not playing the victim, it’s simply a phase of life. It is in this case that empathy can work wonders.

THE ART OF UNDERSTANDING ONE’S LIMITS… EVEN ON A MOTORCYCLE

“Every day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is what you become.” Heraclitus

“Liz, how about you work your way to the top?” A shiver ran down my spine. Only two months earlier I had obtained my driving license but those longtime “friends”, who were also already experts, believed I was already at their level. “Yes, of course!” I heard myself answer.

My heart was pounding like crazy. I had seven motorcycles following me on a mountain road full of twists and turns.

A deep breath. “I can do it!” I was repeating to myself inside my helmet. “I have to prove that I am already good, that I know how to do it! I have to prove to them that I have the motorcycle in my DNA… in the end I got my license, didn’t I?”

I remember that the day was beautiful: sun, blue sky, perfect and clean road surface. What could have gone wrong?

For a few kilometers things went well. I was keeping a cheerful pace, taking some chances and taking some risks.

My hands were sweaty and my muscles were all tight. The concentration was at its best until that long and fast bend.

I ended up wide by invading the other lane while a car was coming and I was able to brake exactly in front of the dark green Panda who, by breaking, had prevented the worst. The incredulous motorist started shouting and I apologised while my “friends” passed by without paying attention to me. My legs were shaking. I engaged the first gear and sadly went to the meeting point.

It went well for me, in fact very well. But most importantly, I understood the lesson: never go faster than you can. Never take on certain responsibilities and certain risks if you are not ready to face them. Surely it would have happened even if I had followed any of them, trying to keep up, as if it were a test of courage, as if I were not playing with my life.

THE ART OF KNOWING HOW TO CHOOSE 

Many years have passed since that day and many things have changed, including certain travelling companions. I worked a lot on myself, took driving courses, travelled kilometers and understood how much more I need to do to improve. I have learnt to go out alone, defeating my last fears… in the end, a smile is enough and no one will deny you help if necessary. I have learnt to choose the people with whom I want to share my time, to surround myself with those who wait for me and respect me, those who know how to distinguish quality from quantity of kilometers, those who make me smile in my helmet, those who “just take a look and we understand each other” or who show me the wonders they have just discovered.

Accepting our limits, pushing them slightly each time to improve, allows us to fully experience this beautiful world.